Ahh, House. Our favourite sassy head of diagnostics, with a knack for identifying puzzling diseases, but a seriously questionable bed-side manner. Yes, House M.D. was the medical drama for people who didn't usually like medical dramas. Fronted by the incomparable Hugh Laurie as the enigmatic Dr. Gregory House, the show was a huge hit and has amassed fans from all over the globe. But hey - the stellar acting and intriguing illnesses weren't the only pull - the show included some of the best dialogue ever seen on tv, with Dr House proving to be one of the most quotable characters with his quick-witted and snarky comments.
But, without further ado, here is our list of the top 10, best 'words of wisdom' quotes from Dr Gregory House, of House M.D...
10. No work, plz
'People choose the paths that grant them the greatest rewards for the least amount of effort.' (Season 1, Pilot)
Ahh - House, the early years. Back before shit got real, House was a grumpy, brilliant diagnostician (albeit less well known amongst his peers), but he still knew how to deliver some excellent sass and dish out that solid world advice. Here he is explaining the complexity of humanity - that we're all just lazy shits who try to do as little as possible for maximum reward. Too true, House, too true.
9) Secret Santa
'Gifts allow us to demonstrate exactly how little we know about a person.' (Season 4, Episode 10)
Greg hits the nail on the head in this scene in which he approaches the topic of gift giving. I mean haven't we all received our share of dodgy gifts in our lifetime in which it is clear that 0% thought was given? Another pair of socks, anyone?
8) Road safety
'You can have all the faith you want in spirits, and the afterlife, and heaven and hell, but when it comes to this world, don't be an idiot. 'Cause you can tell me you put your faith in God to get you through the day, but when it comes time to cross the street, I know you look both ways.' (Season 1, Episode 5)
House had a turbulent relationship with religion during the run of the show, and the Season 1 episode 'Damned If You Do' gave us some real insight into his gripes with such beliefs, particularly Christianity. Here, House provides us with some sound road safety advice about not relying on God to have your back in every scenario you encounter in daily life, and we're inclined to believe him in this respect.
7) It's a wonderful life
'Life is pain! I wake up every morning, I'm in pain. I go to work in pain. You know how many times I just wanted to give up? How many times I've thought about ending it?' (Season 8, Episode 21)
We love House best when he's having one of his signature meltdowns over the idiocy of humanity, but this one was a bit too real for us. In this scene, House is having a blast at Taub (who is often on the receiving end of the abuse) about Wilson's decisions regarding his cancer treatment. House doesn't want his friend to give up (and neither do we!) - so we understand his frustrations that culminate in the delivery of this line, providing a frank commentary on dealing with life and suffering. Light-hearted and cheery never was House's ~thing~.
6) Crime of passion
'Miracle of love? You're over twice as likely to be killed by a person you love than by a stranger.' (Season 1, Episode 5)
House is always on hand to deliver a fun fact or statistic, and this time is no different. Here, House provides a valuable life lesson on how to
5) House vs God
'If you talk to God, you're religious. If God talks to you, you're psychotic.' (Season 2, Episode 19)
Another day, another sassing by Dr. House. As usual, God is his target here, and he has no problem pointing out the blurry distinction between religious belief and mental illness. But as we know, House is an equal-rights offender, and religious people are only one drop in the ocean of his sea of insults, or something like that.
4) #Too many feels
'People's brains stop working, when they think they're gonna lose someone they love.' (Season 6, Episode 21)
House is speaking from experience here (*cough*Huddy*cough*) when he delivers some real commentary on the enigma that is love. We feel you, Greg, we feel you. Love can make you do crazy things, like crash a car into someone's front room. (Too soon?)
3) Inception
'Time changes everything. That's what people say, it's not true. Doing things changes things. Not doing things leaves things exactly as they were.' (Season 3, Episode 12)
Not one to stray away from life's big questions, here the good doctor tackles the concept of time, and whether it does actually heal all wounds. Falling firmly on the side of 'no', House instead encourages people to be proactive in their recovery, as opposed to just sitting around waiting to feel better (maybe take some of your own advice there, eh House?)
2) I see your true colours shining through
'People never change. They just become more of who they really are.' (Season 8, Episode 22)
Like Batman taking off his costume to reveal Bruce Wayne, people never change, they only reveal more of what they are underneath, or at least that's House's take on things. Who can say if he's right or wrong, or if these are just the delusional ramblings of a man about to be burnt alive in a house fire. A poignant exploration of humanity or merely the effects of smoke inhalation? You decide.
1) Allergic to the truth
'It's a basic truth of the human condition that everybody lies. The only variable is about what. I don't ask why patients lie, I just assume they all do. Truth begins in lies. I've found that when you want to know the truth about somebody, that someone is probably the last person you should ask. Reality is almost always wrong. Everybody lies. (Season 1, Episode 21)
Well, here it is. We've reached the end of our top 10 countdown, and claiming the number one spot is potentially the most quotable phrase that encompasses the whole programme - everybody lies. Being mentioned countless times throughout the run of the series, the quote was really dissected in the Season 1 episode Three Stories, in which we got a glimpse into how House operates and why he is a big fan of getting his team to break into people's houses and go through their junk - for their own good of course! And whilst House places little faith in humanity, he is often proved to be correct - after all, how many patients in the shows lifespan would have actually ended up causing their own death by withholding the truth of their circumstances from House & Co? We're guessing A LOT. Kudos to you Dr House, your cynicism is much appreciated.
So there we have it! Our top 10 countdown of words of wisdom quotes from Dr. Gregory House of House M.D. is concluded! Do you agree with our choices? What is your number 1 favourite quote or piece of advice given by House? Let us know in the comments & be sure to watch this space for future articles featuring the best lines and dialogue of the A-team of Princeton Plainsboro Teaching Hospital.
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